Dealing With

One of the hardest issues to contend with as a Wahm is the perception of others that you aren’t working. Many people think that working at home isn’t working at all, and that you have all of the free time in the world. Those who have spent any time working at home know that there is a lot of time and energy that goes into effectively working at home. Friends who call in the middle of the day, spouses who expect you to be doing more while home or family members who make offhand comments, can undermine those efforts.

Not all stay at home moms work, and if you have friends who don’t it can be hard for them to understand that your days aren’t free. Calls during your working time, invitations to lunch and uninvited guests can throw a wrench in your work schedule. In order to get your friends to respect your time, it’s important to make your working schedule clear to them.

If you don’t have a clear work schedule, then it is time to make one for yourself. By setting office hours for yourself, you make it clear to everyone around you that you are serious about your work. It will also help set boundaries for your time. Tell your friends that you will be unavailable from a certain time to a certain time, but you’d love to talk before or after those times. You may even go so far as to turn off your phone. If you do answer the phone and someone wants to chat, politely let them know that you are working but can speak after a certain time. Also, schedule things like lunches or visits for one day per week. This way you’ll reduce the drop-ins and spontaneous invitations.

Spouses can sometimes have difficulty understanding why, if you are home all day, the housework isn’t done. This problem can best by solved by familiarizing him with the nature of your business. Show him exactly what you need to do each day, and how long it takes to do each task. Help him understand your work schedule, and how much time you need to work per day. Showing exactly how much money you are making will help him realize the benefits of your work as well.

Then ask him to help you come up with solutions for working at home and maintaining the household. Make a list of things that need to be done each week, and assign duties to you, him and the children (if they are old enough). Then taking care of the house becomes a family priority and something that you all share responsibility in. Notify him of any special projects by keeping a work calendar on the wall. That way he can see what is going on with your work schedule, and why you have ordered pizza for dinner three times in the last week!

Many Wahms can be hurt over offhand comments about working at home. Family or even friends can say things like “Well you have the time, because you are at home.” In situations like these, you have two choices. You can either get upset and offer a flustered defense or you can take their comments with a grain of salt and offer a calm response. Depending on the situation you can say something like “Well, let me check my work schedule. I know I am not available on these days” or “That would be great on Friday afternoon, which is when I leave time in my work schedule for those types of things.”

Remember, working at home is new territory for many people although the numbers of Wahms are growing. It may take some time for the average person to understand the commitment and scheduling that it takes to effectively work from home. You may never convince some people that you are actually working while at home but establishing respect for your own time is one way to make them see that your work is a priority.

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Following is an article that I wrote back in 2002 pertaining to handling criticism from an author’s viewpoint. While the article itself is obviously about handling criticism as an author, the overall meaning can pertain to other work at home businesses.

If you have ever had someone that does not even know you to speak ill of you to other people, I am sure you will get the meaning of this article. It’s important to remember that if you have encountered this (I have over the years), it’s better and more professional to take the high road and not allow the jealously of another to bring you down. Remember, to lose your professionalism is to lose potential customers and their business.

How to Handle Criticism

The inevitable criticisms that come with the prestige of being called an author could very well be thought as an author’s worse nightmare. How can anyone not be negatively affected by comments and articles that seem to be so harshly written against an author? It’s easier than you might imagine.

The most famous authors have received terrible insults, have been ridiculed, talked badly of, had horrible articles written about them. How do they handle this? You might say that being an author and in the public, this type of thing is bound to happen, and they must deal with it. This is true. But how do they deal with it?

If you are hoping and planning to be published one day, to be an author, you must learn to deal with the critics. It’s easier than one might perceive it to be.

Let’s start with the nasty email and letters. You go to your mailbox or check your online mail. What do you see when you open the mail? Terrible words, from someone saying all sorts of bad things? Or do you see an angry, jealous person who wants what you have, yet has not attained it? Think about it. Does the person that has written such bad things know you? Or are they simply striking out in a jealous rage? When they down you, are they really downing YOU? Or would you say they are projecting they own inner feelings and lack of publishing success?

If you keep in your mind that the people that want to criticize you do not even know you, and that they are simply writing something due to their immense jealously at your success, then you can laugh the criticizers off. So they say bad things about you. Is it REALLY about YOU? No, it’s not. Remember it’s nothing more than jealousy at your success.

Handling criticism also builds your character. If you intend to be published in the “real world”, you absolutely must be able to handle the criticism. It will come! If you cannot handle it, you’ll never make it in the writing business. You will never be able to please everyone all of the time, so don’t waste your time trying. There will always be someone telling you that you cannot write, that you do not know what you are talking about, etc. Who is right? Those few that say you cannot and are aweful? Or those many that let you know that you can? Easy answer!

Allow those that critique you to offer you their gift of help. Much to their amazement, they are actually helping you a great deal with each bad criticism they give you! How? By getting you ready for the real world of publishing. By toughening you up, giving you the power you need to succeed!

How does getting bad comments and criticisms give you power? Easy! Each one you get is like another battery charge! To get more is actually better than getting none. While these people think they are hurting you and humiliating you, they are actually ENCOURAGING you to keep going, because their jealously only shows that you are on the right track, and that you CAN do it! It shows that you DO know what you are doing, and that it is GOOD!

When those inevitable criticisms come, take heart and thank the person that sent it or wrote the bad article about you. They have NO idea how much they are helping you, and NO idea how much encouragement they have given you.

If nothing else, remember this one thing. You MUST be able to handle criticism in order to make it in this business.

For those adoring “fans” that have helped me along, given me so much encouragement and help, I thank you. I could never have come as far as I have without them. They have indeed been my biggest and best help!

Handle criticism with your heart. Allow it to build you up and take you closer to your dream……being an author.

The graphic that is with this article is not what you look like, absolutely not! Rather it’s what those that criticize you look like because they cannot get to you. (Grin again here).